


Peaches and Pranks

by felisblanco



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-04-29
Updated: 2004-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-19 16:03:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10643283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felisblanco/pseuds/felisblanco
Summary: Prank warfare. Someone's about to lose more than they bargained for.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, this is completely [](http://greenstone-j.livejournal.com/profile)[**greenstone_j**](http://greenstone-j.livejournal.com/)'s fault. She gave me this bunny and we juggled with some ideas and this is what happened. Please don't shoot me *hides under the desk*
> 
> General spoilers for AtS5, none specific though, just Spike at W&H. And, I'm sorry to say, completely smut free. *hangs head in shame*

Was this meeting ever going to end? Angel shot another glare at Spike who kept walking past the glass wall of the meeting room, a smug smile plastered on his face. He had wanted to sit in on the meeting, a fact that should have told Angel that something was up. But as soon as Spike heard about all the rules and rituals they had to follow he was quick to back out. Nothing could make him sit still on those bloody barstools for such a long time. It didn't take Angel long to figure out what the hell had made Spike suddenly so interested in this meeting with the Mraoon demons. No sooner had they sat down when he could feel the wetness soaking through his pants. He started fidgeting which made Wes shoot him a warning glance. Sit still with both your hands on the table, that was one of the conditions the demons had put down.

Silently cursing Angel stilled, only to slightly jump a few second later. Something was beginning to sting...down there. The stinging slowly turned into a violent burning and if Wes hadn't stared him down with incredibly cold eyes, he would have ran out of the room, clutching his crotch. That's when he noticed Spike hanging outside, glancing in every now and then. When he saw Angel staring at him he grinned and waved and Angel could see his shoulders shaking with laughter. What the fuck had he done?

As the meeting progressed the burning got more and more intense, to the degree that he was sure that whatever the stuff was, it had burned up his pants, not to mention his privates. Trying his darnest to look interested in whatever the three Mraoon demons and Wes were talking about, even though he didn't understand half of it, he distracted himself from the torture by thinking up ways to get back at that damned blond punk.

This was the last straw. Not like he wasn't used to Spike's pranks. The vampire was like a hyperactive kid with a devilish imagination. Gunn had called him Bart's undead older brother, obviously not expecting Angel to get it. The fact that he did made him realize how much Spike's endless TV watching was affecting him. How long had it actually been since he last sat down and peacefully read a good book? Probably before Spike's return. As a ghost he had gotten his rocks off by jumping on people out of walls, joining them in the bathroom or shower and popping his head up in their plates in the cafeteria. Not to mention the verbal abuse. Every morning Angel would get a long list of complaints and every night Spike would describe the same adventures in details, lying beside him on the bed, passing his hand through Angel's chest now and again.

When he got his body back, that's when the real havoc began. Although Angel could very well see the humorous side of it, like the time Spike replaced Wes' magic books with ordinary ones and the poor watcher was panicking about all his demonology being gone. Or when he decorated Fred's lab with Playgirls Playmate of the Year posters the weekend her parents came to visit. It _was_ funny, as long as the pranks weren't aimed at him. But when they were...

A whole day he had walked around with that starry glitter gel in his hair without anyone telling him. Sure, he had heard the snickers and seen the puzzled looks, but no matter who he asked no one would tell him what was wrong. Wasn't until he saw the pictures on the company's intranet that he found out. Pictures, which also showed him scratching his balls and sniffing his breath, among other things. Not to mention the day he had walked around with "Ask me why I'm called Peaches" written on a note on his back.

Then there were his suits which Spike had shortened the pants on, the shirts he had switched with others smaller, making Angel panic once more about his weight. Only to switch all his clothes a week later with much bigger ones. He was starting to feel like Alice, except he wasn't chasing a bunny as much as being played by it.

The list was endless. Breaking all of his pencils, filling his pens with disappearing ink, changing his answering machine message to "Welcome to Angel's Avengers. Please leave a message after the broody sigh" in a voice which sounded just like his. Making his computer scream "Yes, daddy, spank me!" when he turned it on and making orgasmic sounds every time he got mail.

And the worst thing was that each and everytime Angel had been worked up in a fury and determined to beat the hell out of his insolent childe, when he stalked in to the bedroom he'd find Spike all naked and ready for his punishment. Which made him of course only give him the punishment Spike wanted anyway.

Well, not this time. This time he had gone too far. Shifting slightly in his chair, which was enough to make both Wes and the demons stare at him with irritation, he planned out his revenge. Of course he could withhold sex, that would be hell of a torture for Spike, but then again, so would it be for Angel. The usual whip and chains methods wouldn't work, they enjoyed it far too much for it ever to be a punishment. He could burn his duster, but he would probably miss it as much as Spike, he so loved the smell of that coat. Toss his Doc's? Nah, that would piss him off, but not nearly enough. Well, how about...?

Everyone suddenly standing up brought him back to the present and he managed to put his thoughts on hold long enough to go through the parting ritual and seeing the Mraoons off the premises safely. He actually managed to keep from checking his pants, even though he could feel the cold air brushing his backside. When he was finally rid off the damn demons he wobbled off to his private elevator, ignoring Wes' approaches which were cut short as soon as he gave him the glorious view of his bottom.

As soon as he was in the elevator he stripped off his pants, swearing loudly when he saw the big holes in them. He managed to restrain himself from fondling his balls until he got into his apartment. Gunn said there were no security cameras in this elevator, but he didn't count on it. Stripping off the rest of his clothes he sat down on the bed, trying to see the extend of the damage. Which was pretty hard considering he was sitting on them and he couldn't use a mirror. Well, he would have Spike licking him soon enough. But first...

Well, first a shower, he thought, but then after that, revenge time. Half an hour later he strode out of the elevator, if a little awkwardly, searching for the brat. And sure enough there he was, chatting to Harmony like nothing had happened. Before Spike even had the time to put on his smug smile, Angel had zapped him with the stuntgun. He went down like a log, but Angel zapped him a few extra times, just for the hell of it. Hauling him up and slinging him over his shoulder he strode back to the elevator, leaving Harmony open mouthed and reaching for the phone. "I'm not evil," he growled at her before the elevator doors closed, but he doubted she would believe him. Well, let them send the cavalry. It would be much too late.

\---------------

The first thing Spike noticed was being tied up, tight around his arm and legs. The next thing he noticed was feeling extremely cold. The third thing he noticed was being completely naked. Trying to clear his head, he blinked and looked around. He was up in Angel's apartment, more specifically, in his kitchen, strapped to one of the kitchen chairs. As far as he could tell, he was alone. He could hear sounds coming from the bathroom though. On the table to his right side was a big old fashioned razor. What the bloody hell was going on? Had he overdone it? Gone one step to far? Pushed Angel off the edge?

The sound of the bathroom door opening, made him jump, well, as much as he could. Silently he watched as his Sire waltzed into the room. Leather pants? Check. Velvet shirt? Check. Evil soulless bastard? Check?

"Erm.. Angel. Are you all right? Feeling a little lighter than usual? Not so much guilt maybe?" Spike told himself it was the cold that made his voice tremble and his whole body shiver.

"Shut up, Spikey. Or would you like me to do it for you?"

"Angelus?"

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?" The blow made the chair tumble and Spike fell with a loud clunk on the cold and hard kitchen tiles. Oh, Christ. Just as quickly he was hauled up again on his hair.

"Listen, sire. I'm sorry, all right. Just a bit of fun. No harm meannngh..."The rag that was shoved inside his mouth tasted of dried blood and soap.

"I think sorry is a bit too little and too late. Right, boy?" The voice was cold and menacing. The laughter that followed made Spike's blood freeze in his veins. "I must give you credit though. After all, without you, he never would have allowed me out to play." The evil smirk on Angel's face took away the last of Spike's doubts. He was going to die. Slowly and painfully, probably after becoming intimate with that sharp razor. Defeated he hung his head, which made his crotch catch his eye. His extremely naked, clean shaved crotch. Actually, when he looked closer on his body, there was no hair left anywhere. Startled he looked up at his Sire.

"Don't you like it? Makes you all soft and smooth. Like a baby's bottom. But I still have one place left." And he tucked roughly at Spike's bleached hair. No! This couldn't be happening. Angelus was loose, mad as a hatter again and he was going to shave his hair off. His pride and joy. Spike felt like crying, but instead he started thrashing about, trying to break the bloody chair.

"Be still! Or do you want another zap?" Angel thrust the tazer into his naked, shaved (oh God, he was shaved!) groin and Spike stilled instantly.

"Now, that's better. The thing is, I was going to clean shave you, then polish your head. Make you my very own bowling ball, so to speak. But then I got to thinking." Lowering down, Angel stared right into his eyes. "Remember all those times you called me Peaches?" With a low chuckle he stood up again, walked to the counter behind them and picked something off the table. "Well, guess what your new nick name will be?"

The buzzing sound made him jump. The light touch to his head made him shiver. The machine being run over his scalp made his skin tingle and his cock harden. Oh God, he was really doing it. With tears in his eyes he watched locks of platinum blond hair fall down on the floor. His hair! Oh, God, his hair.

It seemed to take forever, but finally the thing was switched off and fingers were rubbing his scalp.

"Mmmmm, feels fuzzy. I'm glad I decided to keep some. Bet it feels good, rubbing my cock against it. Now, boy, don't you feel better?"

All Spike could do was stare at the locks of hair flowing all over the floor. This couldn't be real. Not his hair! He didn't even notice at first when the ropes were cut. He knew he should do something. Run. Hide. Tell people Angelus was back. But all he could do was sit there, staring down at the floor. He didn't even react when the rag was taken out of his mouth.

"Erm... Spike? Are you ok?"

"Spike? Look at me."

"Baby, I was only acting. It's still me."

"Will? Honey? Please?"

"Baby, I'm sorry. It will grow back."

"God, Spike. Forgive me. You just really pissed me off. I'm red and blistered and... Spike?"

"Spike...?"

fin

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Petting the Peach](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10643286) by [felisblanco](https://archiveofourown.org/users/felisblanco/pseuds/felisblanco)




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